Navigating in a damaged city

Beautiful, old, 2 storey, probably double brick house that was destroyed on Feb 22nd, 2011

I hadn't realised how much I used landmarks to navigate my way around the city! As I was driving through Sydenham, I felt quite disoriented as so many distinctive buildings have disappeared. Sydenham is now very open, spacious and empty looking.

According to The Press last week, apparently there are some central city businesses looking at relocating to Sydenham so they can get up and running again. The Honey Pot is one of them and I'm looking forward to being able to eat in that establishment again!

I haven't taken many earthquake photos, not sure why. The above house has now been completely cleared away and there's now an empty section with lovely trees around it. It will be a great site to build on.

I'd always loved the 2 storey double brick old homes that we had in Christchurch and its sad to see them being cleared away, but there's no way I'd want one now.

Soooo full

I've eaten far too much for lunch but it was so yummy! There was a shout of Indian food - 9 different varieties. I don't often get to eat Indian as I. can't eat spicy food so this was a real treat. Mind you, as I don't eat spicy food all that often, my ability to eat said spicy food has definitely decreased.

Now I'm sitting at my desk trying to work with a very full tummy and (probably) reeking of garlic. How's that for a word picture?

Fine

It could have been a post about the weather, which has been remarkably 'fine', if not brilliant, but its not. It could have been a post about my health which is 'fine', but its not.

Its a whinge about the fact that I have 2 overdue library books for the first time in forever and I now have a 'fine' of . . . $2 each = $4 total! Hmmmpff.

What's happened is that I've decided that I've been spending way too much time reading lately. I had got to the point of taking out 5-6 books a week and reading them all. End result: life passing me by. So I just left the pile of unread books in the corner and thought I would read them before returning them. Didn't, haven't, going back unread - nothing wrong with the books, I may even get them out for another attempt (once I've paid my fine).

Its a different life now that I'm not powerhousing through reading ALL THE TIME. I have more time in my day for doing things like spending time with I., doing dishes, chatting to friends, noticing the weather, etc. Much more interesting.

Luckily I've engaged my brain

I've yet to walk this 1/2 marathon thingee & already, when people mention other opportunities to do other crazy length walks, my mouth has the tendency to say "that sounds OK!".

Where's my head?? I've yet to test my survival ability in a long (OK, extremely long) walk. Why would I want to even think about doing another before I've proved I can survive this one? Madness I tell you.

So, no further commitments have been committed to yet. Hmm, where did that 'yet' spring from?

On a side note - my phone survived (I'm touching wood)!!

Toasting technology

I'm obviously too tired — I just poured a full cup of coffee over my cellphone! Its currently dismantled & toasting itself gently in the oven to try and dry it out. Who knows if it will work. I feel a little bit as though I've lost a limb.

A few steps forward

Agreeing to a friend's persuasion and signing up to walk the half marathon is only the first of many expensive steps.

There's the decent walking shoes to purchase so I don't end up crippled - they're actually running shoes as they have more 'cushioning'. Not that I have them yet as they didn't have any in my size. Hopefully I'll get them on Fri before I head away on holiday. Yes, they'll be coming with me as I HAVE to get some distance in in them so my feet don't die on the day. These shoes are the most expensive I've ever bought and they're PINK! Apparently its so you can tell I'm a female. They'll be the first pink thing I've worn for ever I suspect.

It was also recommended that I buy specialist socks that help prevent blisters. As I'm all for that I also bought a pair of them, once again at huge expense. They're actually shaped differently for your left & right feet!

This whole walking thing is opening up a whole new world of expense and marketing. Ridiculous really when you think about women wearing girdles walking over the Bridle Path on a nor'west day. The only good thing is that I have now convinced another friend to join us. If I'm going down I'm going to take as many people as possible with me!

What on earth was I thinking when I said "Yes"?

Its not something I've ever aspired to do. It has never made my bucket list or been a 'maybe one day' thing. Its never whispered seductively to me.

But I'm still doing it.

I've just registered to walk a 1/2 Marathon in a few weeks!!

Madness.

Almost compulsory purchase of ring!

Standing in a shop with a large ring on my finger that won't come off is one of the scariest things that has happened to me in a while!

There's a fabulous little shop called Blackbird not far from here that's full of lovely crafty bits & pieces. I've been having a lovely time poking around when I come across a bowl of rings. A friend of mine has been saying a lot lately that I'm not particularly adventurous with my jewelery so I decide to try on a 'knuckle duster' type of ring.

It slides on smoothly, it looks pretty but I'm not sure. I want to try it on another finger. Hmmm, not sliding off as easily as it slid on. In fact, its not moving at all. Ok, stay calm, discretely yank on ring in the start of a 'oh my god, am I wearing this forever' panic, all without having to share my predicament with the shop owner.

Now its perfectly obvious that this ring is just not coming off. Charming shop owner offers suggestions - hold hand up in air to reduce blood flow (finger now slightly swollen so its NEVER coming off), cold cloth to stop swelling etc. Starting to think about how hard would it be for I. to get the thing off later in the day - what sort of file would we need? How much blood would be involved?

Decide that I need to man up and buy the ring so I can go away and panic in private!

Complete our transaction with me wondering out loud about 'who can I give this ring to that has smaller fingers than me once I get it off' but secretly thinking that this ring is going to be destroyed before it ever comes off my finger! As I walk out the door I waggle it one more time in resignation and it JUST SLIDES OFF! Unbelievable!! Charming shop owner notices and buys the ring back off me and I drive back to work thinking that it served me right for sneaking some pottering time off from work when there was work to be done.

End result: I'm a very happy non-purchaser of the shop Blackbird and I am going to be exceptionally careful about trying on large knuckle duster rings!

If you're in the Christchurch area, please make the effort to come and visit Blackbird (their byline is 'secret treasure box'!). Its at 16 Station St in Heathcote Valley. There's no website yet but I'm assured its coming. I'll certainly be going back there when I have some spare cash.

First foal of spring

Yesterday driving to work I saw the first foal of the new season. He can't have been very old as he was still very wobbly on his feet. I really enjoy driving past the foaling paddock every morning and seeing how many new arrivals there are. When the foals start arriving is when I know that spring is really here.

A rave about Spring

The weather here has been fabulous. Beautiful sunny days and moderate winds so that all the blossom trees are blossoming fabulously and not losing the blossom. Some years the blossom only stays on the tree for a day, if we're lucky but this year its just fabulous. Driving through town at 11.30pm on Friday night I was able to see the cherry blossoms between Hagley Park and Little Hagley just glowing in the moonlight (and street lamps) through the trees and over the river. Spectacular.

The daffodils and kowhais are equally as spectacular as well. Apparently all the rain we had this winter has meant that the daffodils have done really well this year. My garden is a riot of gold. There's still snow on them thar mountains which means we may still get a frost but it all just looks great at the moment.

Its amazing the difference a bit of sunshine makes on everyone's outlook on life. After a winter of gloomy weather and LOTS of rain, a few days of sunshine and everyone has perked up. Life is much more pleasant at the moment.

What's been happening, you ask?

Daisies on lightbox (taken in Aug 2007)

I was looking at my photos in iPhoto yesterday, mostly because Photography Club was last night, and I realised that I haven't been taking photos. Or writing any blog entries. Or feeling as though I'm doing much of anything that I used to do before, really. Its not because I'm not doing anything but what I'm doing now is so different to what I was doing a year ago.

The upside of my current interests is that I'm not watching television, but when I do its because its a programme I really enjoy. Even then I record it so that I don't waste time watching adverts. Now, if I'm blobbing out in front of the TV, I can only last a short time before I'm picking up a book instead or even getting up to do the dishes.

But every now and then I do fall back into my bad habit of staying up waaaaayy too late to watch absolute rubbish and end up going to bed at 2am or later. I get so frustrated with myself when I do this because its not as if I was watching anything worth while even. Luckily, I've asked I. to come back downstairs when I do this and to tell me to go to bed (yes, like I'm a 5 year old) and this mostly works. I've promised that I won't yell at him when he does this and I generally go to bed at that point.

Its like I can only last so long before I do something to sabotage any good habits I've developed. I don't know why I do this but in this last week I've noticed something about myself - I've been waiting for me to let myself down in some way, which I did this weekend. I won't be sharing it because I'm not proud of it! But the point is, is that I'm setting myself up to fail. Its like I know I can't keep up the new habit/behaviour/goal so I just wait until I go into sabotage mode (it can take months) and then go "see, I just can't do it" and try to give it up.

When this happens, I then have the perfect "out" so that I don't have to keep going with it PLUS I get to prove that I'm unreliable so don't expect anything of me because you know I'll just let you down! Its an excellent strategy for keeping myself small, which is not what I'm up for.

What am I trying to say? Hmmm, a little bit scary but I think its that I'm no longer going to give myself that option of giving up. Its no longer available. Sorry. That door has closed.

What's next? Picking myself up off the mat when I do fail/give up/whinge and have another go. My favourite quote at the moment is the famous one by Winston Churchill: 'Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.'

Shaking things up over here

Rakaia River mouth (south side). 25/4/08

I've been thinking about what do I want to do with my 'one and fabulous life' - that's a quote but I can't remember from where. Two weeks ago I declared that I was going to close my business and do something, anything else, other than what I'd been doing.

What's shown up for me is that by making that declaration, I've really felt able to look into what do I want to do? I don't have any answers yet but its been a fascinating journey so far. I've realised that I've been living as though I can't have it all and on Monday (2 days ago), I got that I CAN have it all, whatever 'it all' means for me.

All of a sudden, instead of living in a world of stinginess and not being able to, I've got the whole wide world stretching out in front of me, full of possibilities. What's amazing for me in this new space, is that I'm not terrified of it. Rather, its exciting because truly, anything IS possible.

I have absolutely no idea what shape or form this will take yet but its a lot of fun playing with 'what ifs' and 'I could do....'. So my work continues in the meantime while I play around with and in my life. How cool is that?

Thoughts from this extra day

I should be working so these are just bullet point jottings:

• I. & I have decided that the next time this extra day rolls around, we're going to take it off work and give ourselves a FUN day that doesn't involve work or any 'should dos'!
• I have just inherited a digital camera from the best brother-in-law ever!! Quite aside from the fact that he'll always be that because he's my only one, all I can say is 'THANK YOU'.
• I have been out every night this week. It looks like it may continue for a bit longer as well. I'm looking forward to being at home on Saturday night though. Makes juggling appointments challenging and I've already overlapped a couple of things next week which is going to be a bit of a challenge.
  
• 'Men in Trees' has started again and I. taped it for me last week, even though I'd forgotten it was on (because I was out). Isn't he fantastic?!
• My baby sister and her hubby (see point #2) are in the country for another two and a bit weeks. Yay! Next weekend all our family are going away to a holiday house in the mountains for some together time. It may be a bit overwhelming for I. but the rest of us are fully intending to have a great time. The 5 nephews & nieces are going to get thoroughly spoilt. There will be cake and maybe even some shoe conversations!
• I've eaten out far too often this week. My bank account has taken a bit of a hammering.
• Gave my brother P ticket to go to the Split Enz concert and am now suffering from envy. May yet get tickets for ourselves.
• Haven't had my afternoon coffee yet and am not sure if its a good idea as I already feel hyped up but am out tonight until midnight, minimum, so may need the kick start it will provide.

Enough blithering. Things to do, people to see, coffee to drink!

Valentine's Day

I've just realised that I haven't shared what I did on Valentine's Day. I was a flower courier person! Do you have any idea a) how exhausting it is to load & unload your car with flowers all day & b) how much fun it is to deliver the most amazing bunches of flowers to people (not just women!) all over the place?

My friend M bought a flower courier company last year and, of course, Valentine's Day is their biggest day of the year. She was looking for people to help her so I volunteered as its something I would never normally get to do and it was a whole lot of fun, even if the day did start earlier than I expected!

I stayed in town overnight at M's place and I'm glad I did as I didn't get to bed until midnight and was up at 5.15am. I was scheduled to start at 7am but a florist rang in a panic saying that they had more arrangements than they thought and we would need 2 cars to fit it all in. So at 6.10am I was standing in the dark outside a florists, helping to sort, load and check.

Then it was back to Addington Raceway (hired for the day to sort all the deliveries), unload the arrangements onto the various suburbs (tables) and into the centre of town to help pickup more flowers. 2 vans and 1 station wagon (mine) couldn't pick up all the flowers. One of the vans did two more trips to finish getting all the flowers. Some of the arrangements were massive! 12 long stemmed red roses in such a large arrangement that you could only carry one bunch at a time as you needed both hands to support it! I wrote up 44 bunches and that was probably only about 1/3 of what was laid out for collection!

Back to the raceway for sorting and then start loading up for my 1st delivery run. I ended up doing a run in the central city (Peterborough, Salisbury & Kilmore Sts with Cambridge & Oxford Tces). Completely filled my car with flowers and couldn't fit them all in of course. It was only after I'd been driving around for an hour with a car load of sweetly smelling flowers that I remembered I hadn't taken by hay fever tablets! Luckily I. came to the rescue (he was also roped in to help & ended up out Papanui way) so it wasn't all bad.

When I delivered the flowers to offices and reception desks, peoples reactions were quite funny. Some appeared to be bitterly disappointed that it wasn't for them. If a male boss was there, I often had to wait while they went and found the sweet young thing it was for so that I could hand them over directly and they would be embarrassed. All sorts of reactions. Surprisingly, I only went back to the same buildings a couple of times during the day but I did get quite familiar with where businesses were.

I. has never given me flowers. He buys me books and CDs which I really appreciate. But at one point as he staggered past me loading his car with huge floral arrangements, he did say "this is as close as you'll get!"

What amazed me was the conspicuous consumption of it all. Obviously a lot of money had been spent on these Valentine's Day flowers and of course, they were fantastic and would be appreciated. But at the end of the day I felt a bit overwhelmed by the sheer amount of money spent. I know that for the florists and flower growers its the most important day of the year but in the end, for a lot of people there is the underlying expectation that they HAVE to do it to show their loved one that they love them. Apparently the next day was unexpectedly busy for the floral couriers as they frantically delivered flowers for those people that had forgotten about Valentine's Day or who got into trouble for not doing something on Valentine's Day!

Still, to be part of it all was a lot of fun. I don't want to be a courier driver but felt honoured to be part of the occasion. I was too busy to take photos which I now regret as it certainly was spectacular.

Thoughts on why I blog

Talking to my brother D last night, I realised that I'd lost track of why I'd wanted to blog in the first place. It was a way of keeping in touch with my overseas family (hi E & T) and also as a record of what I've been up to. I'd never thought it would be a place where people come to discuss politics or to straighten themselves out, it was just for me to blither in and for friends and family to read as they felt like.

Reading other peoples' blogs is always inspiring for how well they write, for what they're achieving in their lives and for how much they're prepared to open themselves up to complete strangers. That really isn't me. I've always been a very private person and even putting up photos can be a bit of an effort for me.

But I have changed over this last year. I've realised that by my not sharing my life with my friends and family I've kept everyone at bay. Someone I met recently said that the secret to making new friendships and expanding the ones you have, is to share yourself and allow them to share themselves. A very simple equation. If the equation is out of balance in any one direction, then the friendship really doesn't develop.

It can be very scary to open up to someone you don't know very well but I can see, from my experiences over the past year, that anyone I want to share my life with is someone that will honour what I'm saying. They may not agree with it but that doesn't matter. Listening and being listened to is what friends and family are for. Knowing that they understand and accept me with all my foibles and that I understand and accept them, makes the relationship stronger, not weaker.

Thank goodness for all my friends and family.

Its almost been two months!

Playing around with a lightbox with Scrap Pea, August 2007

I can't believe that its been almost two months since I last posted. The problem I have is that I feel guilty if I do this during work hours and I can't blog at home yet. The net result is that it just never happens. Looking at this photo makes me realise how long it is since I took any photos as well. Time skates by.

So, this is really just a post to say that I'm still alive and kicking.

Why don't I set myself a challenge of posting once a day for the rest of the week? Should be quite a challenge as I haven't even finished my Christmas shopping yet - its hard to do when you don't know what you're going to get people!

Slow traffic

Rail above road bridge, SH1, Seddon.
A replacement bridge is being built to the right so the nervous excitement of the possibility
of a train driving over the top of you is going to come to an end.

As I puttered through the Lyttelton road tunnel this morning at a sedate 45km behind an obviously nervous driver, I was thinking about the speed I normally drive. I have been making a concerted effort to obey the speed limits and its not difficult in my daily commute. I just cruise along, listening to music, thinking my thoughts and I rarely get over 105km. I travel at the speed I wish to, not because I'm being held up by traffic.

But around town its a completely different story. I really struggle to stay anywhere near 50km, particularly on some roads, for example, Port Hills Rd where everyone does a minimum of 60km. When I travel at 50km on these roads I feel like I'm a real fuddy-duddy, the traffic builds up behind me and I feel pressured to travel more quickly.

Traveling at the speed limit can be very relaxing, particularly on the open road. You virtually never catch up with anyone and the speed hounds scream past and disappear off into the distance leaving you with the open road again. In town I just find it harder to keep my speed down and to keep my cool. Its a very interesting experiment and I think it goes to show how quickly I used to drive and equally, how lucky I am to have never received a speeding ticket. (I'm not counting on the one speed camera fine I got 4 years ago!)

The last time we drove to the Sounds towing the trailer we noticed the phenomenon of always driving on an open road. Towing, we have to drive at 90km which is an easy speed for people to pass you at. Cars pass, disappear off and you're left with this wide open space to drive into (this could be a metaphor for something) without the stress of fast drivers being aggravated by you holding them up.

I guess I'm thinking about speed limits a bit because this weekend I'm away with friends for a long weekend covering a fair amount of the South Island. Some of the roads we'll be on just call out to be driven on fast - I wonder if I'll be able to resist?

Tired

I've just been reading Secret Agent Josephine's latest post about how tired she is and I completely sympathise! I'm overtired at the moment but in my case, its completely self induced. A few late nights, a late meeting and then last night, even though I'd promised myself that I would go to bed early, I didn't. The bloke did and when he went off I knew I should as well but I just couldn't.

I get like that sometimes. Unable to drag my lazy self off the sofa and getting grumpier by the minute. The worst of it is is that I know I'm doing it and I can't stop myself.

At least today I don't have a headache and I have been able to concentrate on doing some work. We've had nor'wests for the last 3 days which is fabulous (warm and dry) although when you're at work you don't really get to see the weather. But it does feel like spring. Hopefully this will continue into the weekend.

With I. now not working, he's been a busy little boy around home. The rotten corner of the house has been dismantled and replaced over the last two days. As a result though, he's feeling shattered and I think is planning to have a much easier day today and clean up the mess of rotten weatherboards and stuff that is scattered in the garden. My excuse for not working in that garden has now gone. I hadn't wanted to put effort into it because I knew he'd be trampling all over it as he worked on the house and now that its done, hmmm, I guess I could do some gardening tomorrow?!

Nothing in particular

Winter sunrise, 2007

Photo taken for a class for my photography club but I just couldn't get it to print well. The sunrise was absolutely amazing though and I was glad I'd made the effort to grab the camera and have a go.

I feel very out of touch at the moment. Life rocks on in autopilot and I feel as though I'm just going with the flow. Its been brought home to me today how much I'm just going with it as its I.'s last day at work.

For the last 4-5 years, we've been travelling together to work. As we have a 3/4 hour commute, its given us this enforced time together where we can talk about whatever - whinge about work, make holiday plans, have an arguement, decide what to have for tea - and its about to come to an end. Tomorrow, I'll be commuting by myself.

It does mean that I can listen to RDU as soon as it comes into range (I. really dislikes it) but it also means that I have to drive both ways. Not a problem really but it was nice to share out the driving. Generally, I. drove in the mornings and it was my turn in the evenings. Now I'll have to be more awake in the mornings.

I. is going to have some time off from full-time, paid employment. If its fine tomorrow he'll either go fishing or play some golf. He's very excited and is walking around with a huge grin on his face. He has got some worked lined up, including going to stay with his brother (K.) to help him build his garage that he's been trying to build for about a year. I'm sure some fishing will be fitted in around that as well.

Of course, being without the regular second income is of some concern but I'm sure we'll be fine. Maybe it will help me focus on my own work and generating a decent income but its not really working today. (Hence the procrastination of writing a post. Not going to bed until midnight last night is probably the real cause of my lack of motivation though.)

Its not as though he's not going to be earning nothing, its just going to be less and not as regular as we've got used to. As I say, if I really got cranking in my own business things would be great. Intellectually, I know that I can do it. Its just turning that knowledge into motivation and action. It all seems a bit much effort today. Could be the chocolate cake we had for morning tea and the Subway sandwich for lunch?

Yoo hoo . . . anyone out there?

I can't believe that its been a month since I've written anything here. 2 weeks of that month I was having computer problems but even so.

What's with all this cold and frosty, then cold and damp weather. I know that its the middle of winter but its COLD! Having to wear multiple layers of clothing and eating way too much food, particularly comfort food like chocolate. Its not helping the waistline. Also not exercising is not helping the waistline (and the thighline and the bottomline).

But spring must be on its way because yesterday I saw lambs and they were frolicing in the grassy green paddocks and sunshine. They must have been about a week old but there was a whole paddock of them. I was completely staggered as no lamb worth its mint sauce would have chosen to have been born in some of the weather we've been having. Did I mention that its COLD? Also, Christchurch is smoggy!


Doesn't this photo just make you want to live here?!! This was taken about 10am on Sunday 8th July. It was a beautiful clear and sunny day and first thing in the morning you could see the fantastically snowy Alps in the distance. But by 9.30 it was still -2 degrees so people lit their coal fires and the view disappeared! You can see one of the coal fires smoking away in the photo. You can really smell the smog as well. Not a lot of fun.

The cold weather definitely slows down the brain cells as well. Some mornings it takes ages for me to get the brain engaged and as for getting the fingers working on the keyboard, it can be quite a challenge. The upside is that the Alps look fantastic as we drive to work and we get to see some great sunrises and sunsets.